I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
