I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
