I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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