I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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