"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
