what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
