Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
