i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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