is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
