Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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