i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
