one might say we're banned from that church
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
