My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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