It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
