My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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