dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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