I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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