im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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