Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
