P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
