fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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