I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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