Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
