apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
