And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
