You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
