GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
