She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
