We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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