he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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