You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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