This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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