I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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