So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
