I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
