I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
