i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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