I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she looked like the before picture.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
