I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
