going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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