It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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