Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
