pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
