My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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