When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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