I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
