these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
