Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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