Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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