walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Green mimosas i think yes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
